can someone finish this essay for me
I am having trouble turning this into a argumentative essay. Can someone please rewrite this essay?
I have attached all documents needed and below is advise given to me from my professor.
Well, you know I always have lots of tips! I looked through your essay and will attach it here with comments added in the review pane. Obviously, it needs to be longer. One way you can add length is to include more personal narration; show readers your own life and how meditation made a difference in it. Donâ€™t be afraid to write scenes and share anecdotes from your life or other lives to make your points stronger â€“ personal experiences are evidence just like sources are.
Another thing you can do to make it longer and more persuasive, is to think about what the people who disagree with your main claim will say. So if your claim is that people need to meditate, what do people who disagree say? Try to get specific with that. Show your readers you understand their reasons but that your reasons and expertise make your position the stronger one. In other words, if there are all these good reasons to meditate, why doesnâ€™t everyone do it? Pretend you are talking to a friend who disagrees with you; what might the friend say and what would you say back in an â€œargumentâ€ about it? Ask some people you know to talk through it with you and see if you get ideas that way. Dispel myths about it (like that you have to dress a certain way or light candles or incense or have a religion associated or something); show readers there are different ways to do it to convince them and educate them at the same time.
The last thing to expand the paper and make it more argumentative is to talk about long-term consequences. Maybe you could talk about how society would be better if people put more emphasis on mental health and techniques like this; or talk about how societyâ€™s priorities shift and what this will lead to in the long-run if people donâ€™t start doing more things like this or tapping in to more spiritual or calming techniques â€“ we have a lot more anxiety and depression medication now, so maybe people would need less if they did more things like this. How could schools and businesses incorporate meditation times or strategies? What does the country look like if we do or donâ€™t do this?
Other things that will really help your grade on this (and I think this RP grade is going to have the biggest impact on your final grade in the class, so I would encourage you to be picky about it!): The formatting â€“ see notes on the attached draft; and punctuation and spelling (of course) â€“ proofread carefully; and the source documentation. This last thing is the biggest issue because right now the paper has plagiarism issues that would cause it to get an automatic zero. Every sentence that has information from a source (anything that is not â€œcommon knowledgeâ€) must be cited, even if you write that information in your own words. So any sentence with source facts needs to end with an in-text citation parenthetical that matches one of the source on your works cited list.
I will have more specific feedback on the Source Summaries files that will be returned (probably) tomorrow. Be sure to read that grading file really carefully! Tips will also be written on it that will help with source documentation. Finally, this paper is missing two requirements: direct quotes from sources and parentheticals. Make sure you add both of those to the final draft.”